30 years of horizon

Hello everyone,
My name is Melissa and in 2000 (25 years ago), I was lucky enough to have been invited to join the Tip of the Toes, in an expedition to Ellesmere Island. I mean not many people can say that they have been to the North Pole, but I can! At that time, I was 15 years old, and little did I know how much this trip was about to change my life. To fully understand, I must first set the scene and provide some context.

When I was 13 years old, I was diagnosed with NHL, and went through 1 year of chemo therapy which involved many hospital admissions, blood transfusions, complications related to treatment, and social isolation. As you can imagine, it was a very difficult time in my life. The physical effects on your body (crippling fatigue, hair loss, nausea to name a few) were to be expected, but what was not expected, or what was not talked about, was the emotional effects of having cancer. The loneliness of going through treatment, and the social isolation were equally as devastating, if not worse. For an entire year, I missed sleep overs, spending time with friends, school, and let me tell you the FOMO (fear of missing out) was real! And when it was all over, when treatment was all said and done, I felt so different from everyone else. I felt like nobody could every understand what I had just been through, and I had to learn how to live my life with the fear of my own mortality. My life felt so out of balance; I carried this trauma with me that nobody could begin to understand. And I had accepted that his was my new norm, until……THE TRIP.

The funny (or maybe miraculous) thing about meeting other teens who had gone through a cancer diagnosis, was that it didn’t need to be spoken about, it was an automatic understanding. In an instant, the weight of feeling so different, or that nobody could understand my journey was lifted. That was part of the magic of adventure therapy. That was the magic of being around others who had similar stories.

The trip was a once in a lifetime opportunity that could not have been possible without the generosity of donors, volunteers, organizers, and medical staff to name a few. I will always be grateful for what it did for my life. It helped me heal my wounds and nurture my very injured spirit. It made me feel challenged, loved, and supported. It made me feel understood without having to explain.

The physical challenges of hiking a mountain became very symbolic of the “up hill” battle you face during treatment. And reaching the summit, well, time stood still. Standing at the top of that mountain, you got to see the world from a totally different view, it was beautiful. What a powerful symbolic moment that was. It wasn’t easy getting there, but once you were there, it was worth all that hard work. It was a very healing moment, one that was shared amongst all the participants. When it was time to say our good-bye’s, I left feeling like my heart was full, that instead of my life being off balanced from having cancer, it was enriched by the challenge and ability to overcome. I no longer felt alone. I felt special, like I have traveled and been
brave.

When I received the email from the Tip of the Toes about their 30 years of healing it made me smile, because I know how important their work is, and how many “once in a lifetime” opportunities they have provided many other people who truly needed a connection. Their work is important and life changing. As an adult, I have become a registered nurse and work in health care. I have spoken with patients, and other cancer survivors who all feel the same, once the treatment is over, they feel alone and blindsided. I think there is a lot of room for adventure therapy and need to help heal your mind and soul after treatment. Tip of the Toes have been a trail blazer for this much needed work. I will be forever grateful to them.